Which Billionaire Startup Founder Are You Most Like?

Do you flaunt it like pimp daddy Zuck (say what!) or squirrel it away like Bezos? Find out in our quiz below…

Think you’re pretty hot stuff as a startup founder? We don’t doubt it, but you know, there’s always room for improvement. We can all benefit from having a role-model, somebody we look up to, and not just because they are fabulously wealthy and probably don’t have to do very much real work. Just live on expensive islands, play with space rockets, and persuade people to wear silly rubber goggles and wave their arms around while you point and laugh at how ridiculous they look!

So which billionaire startup founder are you most like? Find out using our digitally (probably) disruptive quiz, and once you know which one you are most like you are half-way to be being as successful as they are. Honestly. Just do the quiz. (If you can find it behind all the floaty ads for migraine relief and Russian brides.)

Question A:
You have an important pitch coming up with a key investor – nail this one and you will have the funding you need to make that all-important CTO hire. How do you prepare?

  1. Don’t just do one thing, do 3! Jump into your sporty looking electric car and drive very slowly to your space station. Invent 6 new cool things that everybody thinks is a good idea but didn’t know you could do so cheaply (the trick is to scale – build a massive f*cking factory in the middle of the desert!). Dress like the bastard love-child of John Travolta and Tom Cruise and get to the office just in time to deliver a barnstorming pitch that wins the day! Because you are a bona fide hero!
  2. Just hire somebody else to do the pitch and look smug.
  3. Phone up their arch rivals and make a deal with them instead! Then phone up somebody else and do a deal with them too; accuse somebody else of waging a dirty tricks campaign against you, win over the public by having long hair and not wearing a tie, bankrupt your rivals, get the financing somewhere else, and have your photo taken with Mariah Carey!
  4. Hmm – this could be tricky – opt for the grey T-shirt and jeans combo and look pensive.

Question B:
Uh-oh, looks like somebody else is peddling the same idea as you. Could be a problem (for them). What steps can you take to make sure you stay one step ahead? 

  1. You may have been bullied at school back in South Africa but nobody messes with you these days. Nobody! Not the other guys at PayPal, not Bezos with his second rate commercial rocket business (that’ll never catch on), not anybody. Put on an iron suit, fly round the world a couple of times and try not to smash too hard into Gywneth Paltrow. It didn’t do Chris Martin much good.
  2. Somebody is ripping off my idea to rip off everyone? How dare they? Mariah, fetch the air balloon, we need to get some perspective here. Which of my unsuccessful businesses is badly in danger of failure? All of them! How’s my beard looking? Ok, staff, let’s conga!
  3. That’s a poser – in these situations I find it’s best to put on a grey t-shirt and look pensive.

Question 3:
What is the meaning of life?

  1. To hang out with ageing rock stars
  2. To hang out with ageing rock stars
  3. To wear a grey T-shirt and look pensive

How did you score?

Mostly 1’s: Congratulations, you’re Elon Musk! Now get back to work you maggot!

Mostly 2’s: Bad luck you’re Richard Branson – unlike Elon Musk, who was the inspiration for Iron Man, you have no sense of irony.

Mostly 3’s: Don that grey t-shirt and start looking pensive, you’re Mark Zuckerberg! You once went to a meeting in a dressing gown (with a grey t-shirt underneath)!

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