How do you feel about the New Year?
No, come on, be honest – Optimistic? Pessimistic?
A recent survey conducted by US based Morning Consult suggests that 72% of Americans are “Hopeful” about 2017. We congratulate you on your blind faith, America! Fair play to you, keep on doing what you’re doing – you put “The Donald” in the White House, and hey! Those Polar Ice Caps aren’t gonna melt themselves.
But it’s not so much the optimism (nothing like a bit of imperviousness in the face of an impending catastrophe), but the range of other emotions the survey suggests both North and South Americans are feeling about 2017 that are a little surprising, to say the least.
49, and 46 percent say they are feeling “peaceful” and “relaxed” about 2017. Peaceful? Relaxed? Yeah right. “Ah, here comes 2017, lovely, let’s dance naked in the yard around that totem pole we put up after we watched that Trump speech in Michigan – so relaxing, it was. Hmm, best grab the rifle just in case – and stop bogarding that joint!”
17% said they felt “hurt” about 2017. How dare you, abstract social / mathematical construct designed-to-help-us-co-ordinate-activities-and-measure-the-passing-of-time! Coming here and pushing 2016 around like a frat boy at a geeky startup launch party.
26% percent are “confused”.
“Huh, what, the passing of time, putting a different number at the end of dates – whose idea was this? Can’t we just do 2016 all over again?”
Actually, that’s not such a bad idea – maybe we won’t make such a pig’s ear of it this time. Because the problem with being a pig’s orifice, as we discovered in 2016, is that David Cameron will well and truly f*ck you!
Excuse us – suffice it to say, we were going to make fun of the 25% who said they felt “helpless” – but that kind of sums it up.
Still, any excuse to listen to this.