The Cotswolds – home to hipsters like, erm, Jeremy Clarkson? David Cameron? Grant from Eastenders? Ah, Alex James from mod-popsters Blur – that’s more like it…
You may not find many Shoreditch hispsters in rural Oxfordshire, but you might find a few well-to-do hipster parents. Just as well, too, because a new gifting startup based in the Cotswolds, Bluebell Abbey, has just launched the ultimate line of Valentines day themed presents for the hipster man in your life.
This lot have really done their homework, dividing the male hipster community into 3 personality types (Phyla? Genum? What is the collective noun for hispters…? A Bunch? A quinoa salad?) and going to significant, and let’s be honest, possibly unnecessary lengths to discover what they most want to find under the barge-bunk this Valentines day.
The “ethical” hipster, for example, “dresses in carefully selected vintage clothes, rides a bicycle” and “eats fair trade avocados on sour dough bread from his local artesian bakery.”
Thanks for clearing that up – and also for recommending rewarding this good old chap with some “Whisky Aged Maris Otter Vintage Ale”, sourced from a Stroud brewery. Because after all, “for him, provenance is everything”. Anyone know what provenance means?
For the hipster barista, (“he drinks coffee as if it is a sacred sacrament”, and when he isn’t drinking coffee, he is pursuing his only other hobby – “collecting rare vintage vinyl”) how about a single farm origin whole bean coffee?
Bluebell Abbey has exclusive deals in place with hipsters from overseas who make blends such as the “Honey Cattura from the El Bosque farm in Colombia”. It’s “washed in honey water before roasting”. Don’t thank us, thank Bluebell Abbey!
Finally, for the “authentic hipster”, who is “knowledgeable and does his own research”, you can “prove to him you’re the real deal” by buying him a selection of original classic penguin and vintage Ladybird books.
Know anyone who would like that for Valentines Day? So do we. Weird, isn’t it?
And kinda cool ; )